Twitter-Dumb and Twitter-Dumber

Twitter.com should be re-named NoROI.com.  It’s catchy… could work as a brand if you purchase NoROY.com too. What do I mean?

First read a bit of Lewis Carol, my muse for this observation.

Twitter is the media’s current darling and everyone is jumping on their band-wagon.  They just raised $100-million and investors are valuing them at around $1 billion.  I think that article should have been titled…

“Fools Rush In Where Wise Men Fear to Tread.”

In the end, which is coming soon given how quickly things move on the web (anyone remember MySpace?), corporations and Twitter users will look back and realize how much money and time they wasted on Twitter.

What will soon be evident is… a decent Twitter ROI doesn’t exist!

Board of Directors of the Big Corporation asks the CEO in late 2011, “Tell us again where you spent all that money.  And what did we get for it?”

Big-time social media consultants whores gigolos bloodsuckers will be un-masked as the “shameless opportunists” they truly are.

SIDEBAR: Some social media consultants have become tremendously successful because like Pavlov’s dog, when the new-media bell rings many large corporations feel they MUST work with the “top consultants.” Guess it makes CEOs feel important to pay hundreds-of-thousands of dollars to learn what my 13-year old daughter could teach them in a single long afternoon.

Here’s a quote from Scott Karp in 2007 that’s even more true today, “…it’s not that ALL of Twitter is a waste of time. It’s that TOO MUCH of Twitter is a massive waste of time.”

Twitter won’t officially reveal their usage stats so folks are making best guesses.

Twitter isn’t selling anything yet, so there’s no need for them to reveal their stats… right?  Or is there a MUCH BETTER reason for hiding their usage data?   Read that WSJ article again for the answer.

SIDEBAR: Reminds me of a meeting back in the dot-com era when the Pets.com CFO leaned over and whispered to the CEO, “We’re never going to be able to repay all these investors.” And the CEO whispered back, “SHHH!”

A recent study revealed:

• 72% of Twitter visitors[?] are just passers-by, while only 27% are users.
• just 1% of Twitter addicts contribute 35% of all conversations.
• over 50% of tweets are useless, and less than 9% have any pass-along value.

Read this Mashable post on Twitter usage, and also take note of the fact that some companies are not happy about Twitter.

Can the end of the Twitter fad be far off?

Remember, “far off” in Internet years is typically around eighteen months to two years from launch, or as soon as the Next-BIG-Thing arrives, whichever comes first.

Gotta’ go.  Just wasted enough time on Twitter (or something like that :).

Need to get back to thinking up my own Next-BIG-Thing, so investors can give my company $100 million based on non-monetized traffic and hype.

PS: If I were the head of Twitter I’d be spending lots of cash wining and dining power-bloggers, the press and the pundits in order to stay their “darling” for as long as possible… and keep those investor dollars rolling in.

And that’s no joke.